In today’s atmosphere of “just be positive”, this may come off as a somewhat unpopular opinion, however, it is a very real issue.

Toxic positivity is forcing people to push down their issues, because they feel isolated and unable to speak to their loved ones about the things that trouble them; as if having a negative experience is some kind of infectious disease that not only the sufferer doesn’t want, but others don’t want to be around in case they catch the negativity ‘germs’ as well.

This is the singular, most unhealthy thing one can feel or have done to them.
NEGATIVE EMOTIONS, SITUATIONS AND THOUGHTS ARE PERFECTLY HEALTHY AND NORMAL TO EXPERIENCE. What isn’t healthy, is avoiding; or not being able to express your negative emotions, situations or thoughts, because you need to 'just be positive' or 'let it go'. Alternatively, it’s just as unhealthy to unpack and live in the negative experience or extend it past its life cycle. Hanging on to negativity can reach into other parts of our lives as we push the issues down and avoid resolving or addressing it.

In order to move forward, we need to acknowledge and share what’s bothering us; be it to a confidante, mental health professional or the source of the issue. By doing this we can address, release and heal, thus return to our positive life.

For so long now – too long, in my opinion – we have been taught that we just need to be grateful and positive in all aspects of our lives in order to be happy. That negativity of any kind is not acceptable and should be avoided at all costs.

This thinking then leads us to become uncomfortable around any perceived form of negativity and avoid it. It also leads to disingenuous comments like “others have it worse”, or “you just need to think positive!”, or my personal favourite “just let it go!”. If only it was that easy, hey? Obviously, the situation has affected them so much, they just want to get it off their chest, address what is bothering them and move forward. Saying such unhelpful and obstructive things to people who just want to be heard, harms their ability to do so, creating further struggle and hurt for them.

When I am feeling low; I like to talk about it. I find that once I let the issue ‘hit the air’, it reduces its power over me, I feel empowered and supported – particularly when I am discussing it with someone who is ready to hear what I am saying and appreciates that my issue is very real to me; and that it will not ‘infect’ them with its negativity.

People’s problems are very real to them, so when someone opens up to you; what you need to bear in mind is THIS IS NOT YOURS TO OWN. We are not always equipped in life to appreciate that one little factor and people tend to take on the issues of others, rather than acknowledge and understand the fact that your role is simply to support; not take on the issue personally. Growing up, I didn’t have this skill, however; I was very blessed to have a wonderful woman who is also now a dear friend teach me how not to take things on when people confide in me. I will address this in my next blog – Thank You for Sharing.

"I forgive myself for not being perfect. I am living the very best way I know how." - Louise L. Hay.