Sometimes, there can be those periods we go through, where even the littlest thing is a big drama. You feel like you are being pulled in a number of directions and just do not know where to start. Like you are in the middle of a windstorm, with nowhere to turn - not knowing on what to focus your energies first. Some people react badly to these sorts of situations, others rise and others freeze, paralysed with anxiety and fear. Up until about 2009, it largely depended what mindset I was in at the time as to how I reacted.
What changed me in 2009 - or rather the way I reacted - was some very wise advise from a good friend. I was in a frenzy about some issues that were going on in my life and busily trying to pre-empt everyone's next move so I could control the situation. He asked in passing what was going on, and I just spilled everything. Then he asked, "How much of that is actually in your control?" I was speechless. Not because I thought he was trying to minimise my percieved problems, but because he asked a very good question. The answer? Not much at all... Maybe one part. He then went on to explain his 'circle of control'. Basically, there are three factors:
1. The things you have full control over;
2. The things you have partial control over, and;
3. The things you have no control over.
When it comes to how it impacts on you, then everything that comes under 1 can be changed to suit you. Everything coming under 2, you do what you can with it and leave it be. Everything coming under 3 you cant do a thing about until you know the outcome and then you can go from there.
What this gets you doing, is stopping and assessing what requires your energy and focus, and what does not. For example... You are selling a house (which is overwhelming in itself) and it is in the process of settling. All admin is done, it is now a wait til everything goes 'unconditional' and settles. Can you do anything about it? No. So leave it and let it run its course. There is no point getting worked up over it, because there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. On top of this, you are moving and organising a new place to live. Your focus would be on the administration of moving and either signing a lease or home hunting, etc. These are things you need to do and can control to an extent. Patience and the ability to only work on what you are able to work on, is key here.
Whenever you are caught up in that whirlwind and feel overwhelmed by the goings on around you, now is the best time to call that friend who has never lead you wrong, who has an even hand and objective mind to help you find that quiet place and sort out the 1s, 2s and 3s. After a while, you will be able to do this by yourself. I still sit down and write down the things that I feel are overwhelming me, as I find writing it down and putting them in their own lists helps. And I still call my closest friends for direction.
As a Tarot reader, I find when people are feeling this way, they tend to become very regular callers. They are generally feeling very insecure about the place they are in and are looking for reassurance - which is perfectly normal. Call me mad, but I will often talk people through the above process, rather than take their money for a reading that is only going to reaffirm the things that may have already been covered in a recent reading. People don't learn from paying out $X for a quick reading; rather, they become dependent on it. More often than not, the cards say what the querent already knows to be true. On top of that, I feel that I am compromising my own integrity in encouraging the dependency. I would rather give people tools to help find their own peace with challenging situations.
If I have learned anything from my journey through life, it is that trying to force doors that are not open to me, usually backfires!
May the Angels give you the courage to be at peace with the things you can't change, act on those things you can, the wisdom to know the difference, and the patience to allow everything to flow as it needs to. xo
What changed me in 2009 - or rather the way I reacted - was some very wise advise from a good friend. I was in a frenzy about some issues that were going on in my life and busily trying to pre-empt everyone's next move so I could control the situation. He asked in passing what was going on, and I just spilled everything. Then he asked, "How much of that is actually in your control?" I was speechless. Not because I thought he was trying to minimise my percieved problems, but because he asked a very good question. The answer? Not much at all... Maybe one part. He then went on to explain his 'circle of control'. Basically, there are three factors:
1. The things you have full control over;
2. The things you have partial control over, and;
3. The things you have no control over.
When it comes to how it impacts on you, then everything that comes under 1 can be changed to suit you. Everything coming under 2, you do what you can with it and leave it be. Everything coming under 3 you cant do a thing about until you know the outcome and then you can go from there.
What this gets you doing, is stopping and assessing what requires your energy and focus, and what does not. For example... You are selling a house (which is overwhelming in itself) and it is in the process of settling. All admin is done, it is now a wait til everything goes 'unconditional' and settles. Can you do anything about it? No. So leave it and let it run its course. There is no point getting worked up over it, because there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. On top of this, you are moving and organising a new place to live. Your focus would be on the administration of moving and either signing a lease or home hunting, etc. These are things you need to do and can control to an extent. Patience and the ability to only work on what you are able to work on, is key here.
Whenever you are caught up in that whirlwind and feel overwhelmed by the goings on around you, now is the best time to call that friend who has never lead you wrong, who has an even hand and objective mind to help you find that quiet place and sort out the 1s, 2s and 3s. After a while, you will be able to do this by yourself. I still sit down and write down the things that I feel are overwhelming me, as I find writing it down and putting them in their own lists helps. And I still call my closest friends for direction.
As a Tarot reader, I find when people are feeling this way, they tend to become very regular callers. They are generally feeling very insecure about the place they are in and are looking for reassurance - which is perfectly normal. Call me mad, but I will often talk people through the above process, rather than take their money for a reading that is only going to reaffirm the things that may have already been covered in a recent reading. People don't learn from paying out $X for a quick reading; rather, they become dependent on it. More often than not, the cards say what the querent already knows to be true. On top of that, I feel that I am compromising my own integrity in encouraging the dependency. I would rather give people tools to help find their own peace with challenging situations.
If I have learned anything from my journey through life, it is that trying to force doors that are not open to me, usually backfires!
May the Angels give you the courage to be at peace with the things you can't change, act on those things you can, the wisdom to know the difference, and the patience to allow everything to flow as it needs to. xo
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